Before and After

Believe it or not, this entry is not about the cutest puppy in the world.

I have debated on whether or not I wanted to blog this entry for a few weeks now...I am approaching this with very cautious intentions.

Let me preface this - working at a destination health resort makes you a lot more 'open' about weight, weight loss, and weight gain. Canyon Ranch used to be a 'fat farm' that would limit guest's calorie intake to 800 calories! That isn't the case anymore, we are much more about the integrative approach - medical, behavioral, nutritional, and of course exercise physiological (is that a word?)

I have about 8 photos in my new offices of me with a variety of people that are important in my life. There is a photo with some of my high school friends, with my college friends, with my boyfriend, with my Vegas friends, and of course with my mom. It has been very interesting to watch my new Canyon Ranch co-workers come into my office and ask permission to look at my personal photos. Of course you can look!

About a week ago, someone was looking at them for the first time and said "who is that girl in all of your photos?"

Me: "huh?"

confusion

Me: "that's me!"

"ohhhhhhhh, wow. It doesn't even look like you."

awkwardness

Me: "well, I had brown hair in that one, and in the other 5 of them, I am about 25 pounds heavier."

Thoughts in my head: "Holy crap! Twenty-five pounds heavier?"

It hadn't really sunk in until that moment, that I had made a significant change to my outward appearance. So significant that a co-worker couldn't even recognize old photos of me? Naw....

I am not exactly sure when I was at my peak...there were several times in college when I would start Weight Watchers, only to lose 8 pounds then gain back 11. Then after college there were still several times I would join Weight Watchers to lose 6 pounds and gain back 9. Then, I thought that training for a marathon might help get me to my 'goal weight,' NOPE! That's a negative, I just over-compensated with more and more food.

I'm not even sure what my tipping point was. Or when I had this 'a-ha' moment (That is a Canyon Ranch reference...we often refer to our guest's "a-ha" moment of when they realize that something in their life has to change, for good).

It wasn't that I started thinking "I am going to loose weight, and this is how I am going to do it."

It was more "this is my body for the rest of my life, I can either choose right now to consciously make it a body I enjoy being in, or I can continue these toxic eating habits and complain that my jeans are always too tight."

Before I knew it, I was eating less (still the foods that I liked, just less of them), obsessing and thinking about food less (I still think about what I am going to eat for dinner when I am eating breakfast, but that will never change), and weighing less. I didn't notice it until other people noticed, and when someone would ask me what I "DID" to lose the weight, I would come up with these ridiculous "excuses" that really didn't give me any credit. Ready for these?

• My boyfriend moved to another state, so I didn't have anyone to wine-and-dine me anymore. (I had plenty of wining and dining with girlfriends and through my job!)


• My boyfriend moved to another state, so I was sad (dumb...I was definitely sad, but not sad enough that I didn't want to eat!)


• I was stressed out at work and just too busy to over-eat (what? was I too busy to partake in doughnut-Wednesday? no)


• I wasn't drinking as much (ok, this is partly true. I was drinking lower-calorie drinks, still just as many!)

Just recently I have been able to give myself full credit for taking charge of what I wanted my body to look like. Do I think there was something wrong with how I was before? No way...it just wasn't ME.

I am really enjoying learning about healthy eating and healthy habits. There are several "healthy food bloggers" that blog about their weight loss journey, and if this entry wasn't so long already, I would plug them here :)

I still feel like there are a few pesky pounds that are lingering on - but I'm ok with that. Doesn't everyone want to lose 5lbs? :)

Before

After