Don't be an Eeyore

My friend Susie is like my own personal Dr. Phil. Seriously, the advice and insight that comes out of this girls mouth is TV show worthy.

Tonight we were talking about this: "Ladies, don't be an Eeyore in your relationship" - an article on CNN.com that she had found.

I am (a recovering) Eeyore. And it took me 2.5 years in my relationship to admit I had a problem (you know, like a 12 step program type of thing.)

First of all...you should make sure you read the article before you read the rest of my blog.

Did you read it?


I feel like this article was written for me...for me to read at this moment.

I have a hard time receiving criticism - doesn't everyone? But a couple of weeks ago, B totally called me out on a few things that were "blocking my blessings." Ok, ok, he didn't use those exact words, but that really was what he was saying. I was constantly looking for the faults in our life together, I was looking for the shortcomings of 'us' - even if these faults and shortcomings were totally bizarre and not validated, I was looking for them...it was almost like I wanted these shortcomings and disappointments to be there. Even when they weren't.

It was really hard to hear - but mostly because I knew it was true. I was very caught up in the 'what COULD go wrong' at 'some point in the future' that I wasn't enjoying the blessings of the present. And to be honest, when asked why I was doing that...I didn't have an answer. All I could say was "I'm an anxious person."

And then I read this....I think the author really summed it up.

So, why do women tend to ruin the one thing they claim to want the most? Is it unresolved issues from past loves, insecurity, a self-loathing feeling that they don't deserve happiness?

Actually, it's a lot simpler than that. Women have been conditioned to believe that in order to succeed in this world we always have to be a step ahead of all potential problems. We need to always be ready for when the bottom falls out. We need to prepare that safety net so we cannot be caught off guard.

As a result, women are so busy analyzing what could happen in the near future that they are destroying any possibility of nurturing the present. The mind set is not just limited to our love lives.

I think that is very true. Things are great in our new life of sharing a home. And I am truly, truly happy. But it was really hard for me to stop analyzing what COULD happen in the near future and instead, nurture and enjoy the present. The 'what COULD' happen wasn't just limited to my relationship with B, but just a lot of what-ifs in life.

What do you think? Have you ever found yourself going through this phase of being an Eeyore in your relationship or in other aspects of your life? Or maybe I am the only one....and that's ok, too. :)


The truth hurts....

My friend Mark told me he had a few suggestions for my blog. I said I wanted to hear them. And this is what I got.

me: so what's your suggestion?
Mark: ah.. you're back
well, im sorry to say this.. but your blog is kinda boring.
its like it was written by that jessi that i knew that never made a disparaging remark about anyone.
me: hahaha
that is because i have to write it with the assumption that the whole world may read it some day
Mark: maybe.. but why would the world want to read that?
its doesn't answer any questions.. doesn't ask me any questions.. doesn't make me think.
im not trying to be mean... but my point is.. you're a lot smarter, a lot funnier and a lot more insightful than your writing would suggest.
Mark: and... now you don't want to talk to me.
me: sorry, someone came into my office
ha. well, i am wondering if this is a backhanded compliment?
honestly, it is just a chance for me to post pictures and let my friends know what i am doing
Mark: probably
me: i don't really use it the other wya
Mark: what do you mean?
me: well, i mean that i only use it as a way to document whati have been doing not what i think, or the sarcastic things i think of other people
i will try harder.

Mark: i do'nt know.. it reads like a postcard to someone's grandma.
Mark: i mean, if you enjoy writing and i know you have opinions... so even if you had a slightly less public forum... its fun to use. i used to throw out editorials to some of my friends from time to time.
me: that is true. maybe i need to invest more time into it
Mark: that's just my 2 cents. i think you're hiding your character.. and i think you can write about more things than your trip to the zoo.
me: wow. please don't hold back
Mark: im not. untapped potential is something that pisses me off. trust me... if i didn't think you were better than that, i would never have said anything.
me: hahaha
well, thanks?

what if i post this conversation on my blog?
Mark: i just don't always have the most tactful way of saying things
i wouldn't mind
me: welp - it's final. this is going on the blog
is there anything you would like to say to my blog friends?
Mark: if they agree with me, they should speak up. but then again, your friends are probably too nice.
me: they are very very nice
nicer than you
Mark: it doesn't take much
but then again.. you know what you're going to get. and i doubt you're angry about what i said about your blog.
me: you're right. i'm not
Mark: but the robot that wrote your blog... she might be, so don't say anything to her.
alright, i'll stop
me: omg

Mark: anyways... for your next post... after exposing me to your wide readership as a jackass... think of some crazy topic that always gets you going... something that pisses you off, something that gets you excited for no good reason and just.. go off about that.
Mark: maybe you could talk about something different between where you are and where you were. or how certain relationships have changed. your weight loss post was good because it revealed something about you.
Mark: or you might do better or be more comfortable expressing your opinion about something that's not too revealing about yourself.

Well blog friends, what do you think? Do you have any topics that you would like to hear about?


Puppy love

I've been lazy about posting. I'm sorry...I'm sure all five of you are very upset with me.

I may have mentioned this before...but I will do just about anything that Rachel tells me to do. Why? Because she is smart.

Today she posted a cute little video on her blog that documents her five year marriage to Sol. It is real cute. She suggested I do one for Brooklyn. So I did.

(Sorry Bradley...maybe some day in October you will get your own anniversary video)

Tomorrow Brooklyn is having surgery...surgery that will ensure that she doesn't create any baby Brooklyns. Brad keeps asking if we are sure that we won't, sometime in the future, want more Brooklyns. I remind him of the past 6 months...and tell him to multiply it by roughly six. I'm sure.