Don't be an Eeyore

My friend Susie is like my own personal Dr. Phil. Seriously, the advice and insight that comes out of this girls mouth is TV show worthy.

Tonight we were talking about this: "Ladies, don't be an Eeyore in your relationship" - an article on CNN.com that she had found.

I am (a recovering) Eeyore. And it took me 2.5 years in my relationship to admit I had a problem (you know, like a 12 step program type of thing.)

First of all...you should make sure you read the article before you read the rest of my blog.

Did you read it?

Great.

I feel like this article was written for me...for me to read at this moment.

I have a hard time receiving criticism - doesn't everyone? But a couple of weeks ago, B totally called me out on a few things that were "blocking my blessings." Ok, ok, he didn't use those exact words, but that really was what he was saying. I was constantly looking for the faults in our life together, I was looking for the shortcomings of 'us' - even if these faults and shortcomings were totally bizarre and not validated, I was looking for them...it was almost like I wanted these shortcomings and disappointments to be there. Even when they weren't.

It was really hard to hear - but mostly because I knew it was true. I was very caught up in the 'what COULD go wrong' at 'some point in the future' that I wasn't enjoying the blessings of the present. And to be honest, when asked why I was doing that...I didn't have an answer. All I could say was "I'm an anxious person."

And then I read this....I think the author really summed it up.

So, why do women tend to ruin the one thing they claim to want the most? Is it unresolved issues from past loves, insecurity, a self-loathing feeling that they don't deserve happiness?

Actually, it's a lot simpler than that. Women have been conditioned to believe that in order to succeed in this world we always have to be a step ahead of all potential problems. We need to always be ready for when the bottom falls out. We need to prepare that safety net so we cannot be caught off guard.

As a result, women are so busy analyzing what could happen in the near future that they are destroying any possibility of nurturing the present. The mind set is not just limited to our love lives.

I think that is very true. Things are great in our new life of sharing a home. And I am truly, truly happy. But it was really hard for me to stop analyzing what COULD happen in the near future and instead, nurture and enjoy the present. The 'what COULD' happen wasn't just limited to my relationship with B, but just a lot of what-ifs in life.

What do you think? Have you ever found yourself going through this phase of being an Eeyore in your relationship or in other aspects of your life? Or maybe I am the only one....and that's ok, too. :)